I. Need. Help.

Why are those 3 simple words so hard to say?

Is it because, by saying them, we admit that we aren't perfect? We're admitting that we aren't self-sufficient but that we have to rely on someone else? Is it our pride? Is it fear of what other people will think? It is fear of not being accepted by people because you need them?

Last week, I really realized how much I need help. It was a really rough week at school with some 'extreme' behaviors presenting themselves in my classroom. I got punched at, had things thrown at me, had my personal space invaded, and had to use some of my "Handle with Care" training to deflect a student's grip on me. One student took a swing at me in front of the Student Resource Officer (SRO) and was taken away from my class by him and the assistant principal. When processing the situation with an Occupational Therapist who has worked with the student, she was surprised by the student's behavior and was bothered that I used outside help. She thought I should be the disciplinarian in my classroom, not using outside help, so that the students respect me as the authority. But I didn't know what to do. Everything I tried just kept him running away from me and refusing to work. And when he would stop long enough to listen, he would get "all up in my grill", and I didn't know how to handle that situation either.

As I left school on Friday with a heavy heart, I felt the weight of shame on my shoulders. I was ashamed that I couldn't handle my students without help. That led to the feeling of incompetence.

Granted, I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I am a first year teacher who has a challenging group of students.

But, nevertheless, I have been struggling all weekend with trying to figure out how to ask for help from my boss, because I am (finally) ready to admit to myself and others that I need help to make my classroom the best learning environment possible. Tonight, I sent an email to my boss asking to meet tomorrow to discuss classroom and behavior management.


Tomorrow morning, I'll overcome my fear, pride, and shame long enough to say:

I. Need. Help.


And I'll get the help I need so very much.


Thanks for your prayers!